Thank God You're Here...Grandma's Been Raped!

This is going to be short and to the point.

You. Need. To. Buy. The. Summer. Heights. High. DVD.

Chris Lilley is a genius. You will laugh out loud. You will fall in love with Jonah. You will hate Ja'mie. You will want to slap Mr. G. You will finally understand all the funny calls everyone in your office has been making for the last couple of months. Don't be the last one to jump on this bandwagon, it's pretty full already and you'll get left behind.

Price: $24.95
From: JB Hi-Fi
Why you need it: A cult classic that belongs in every DVD library. Who knew Australians could do comedy well?!

Bite Me, big boy!

So many purchases to talk about, but my gosh I need to tell you about one of my new loves...Bite Me Burger. This funky little burger joint is on Oxford St in Paddo (the epicentre of all things "cool and hip") and they make eating fun. Well, at least, eating was fun for me today. They rock an awesome menu, with such items as The Beef Encounter, The Wagyu Truffle, Vegetari Anne and Pluck Me. These burgers are BIG, so if you're like me and wouldn't have a hope in hell of making it through one, then go for the Minibites. Mini versions of their burgers. Seriously! The first time I went there I tried to take photos of my meal with my camera phone. Incidentally I failed, but this post isn't about my incompetence and lack of coordination. It's about burgers.

My favourite part? The fries come in a miniature shopping trolley. I'm such a sucker for a gimmick so this won me over big time. Team your mini burgers with a mini shopping trolley full of fries and you may as well just declare a Festival of Cute. My only gripe is the mini sized drinks, because you need more than a 250ml Coke to wash down these bad boys. Granted they are in the cute mini glass bottles, so you can't begrudge them for keeping in theme. All in all, a well rounded burger experience. My recommendations? The mini Pluck Me and Beef Burgers, finished off with a Pat and Stick's homemade ice cream sandwich. And try to snag the bench seats at the front window for maximum people watching.

Price: $5 for a Mini Bite through to $29 for the Mega Bite (450g of Terra Rossa beef)
From: Bite Me Burger Co. on Oxford St Paddo (next door to the Paddo Inn) and just opened Campbells Parade Bondi Beach (near Ravesis)
Why you need to go there: For a super amazing burger (or burgers) and fries in a mini shopping trolley. Take your next date there and impress with them with how cool you are.

Bag yourself a bargain (pun!)

My first stop on yesterdays sale mission was the delightful Catherine Manuell Design on Crown St Surry Hills. This store is a treasure trove of bright colours and tasty textures, and I was super lucky to have been given a $100 voucher to spend spend spend to my hearts content. Lucky for me everything in the store was on sale!

The first thing I picked up, and probably my most favourite thing, was this sherbert-y tote bag. Perfect for the beach, it's the right size for a towel, bottle of water, ipod, magazine, wallet, phone and keys. At 20% off, it was also affordable. I would say 'perfect for a Christmas gift', but thankfully that ship has sailed for another 300+ days.

Price: $45? No! 20% off = $36
Why you need it: To put your stuff in for the beach. You need to look good when you hit the sand.

That wasn't all I got at CMD, I also picked up a passport/travel document holder and luggage tag, since I intend to do some more traveling next year (note to self: next purchase = luggage to put said tag on). They are an awesome black and cream hypnotic pattern in a lovely shiny patent, so I will be able to keep all my documents safe and recognise my bag when it comes around on the carousel. How efficient and coordinated is that?!

Price: Tag $9 (SO cheap, and 10% off as well) and Document Holder $35.10 (normally $39)
Why you need them: So you can be the coolest AND most organised person in the terminal.

My lucky last purchase (off a $100 voucher no less, gosh I did well) was a very sexy scarf in light blue/red/white/dark blue which is very nautical and totally in keeping with my current scarf obsession. At a whopping 40% off this was a total steal, and I truly felt like I should have apologised to the girl in the store for walking out with this beautiful piece so darn cheap. I intend to tie it around my head and rock the shit out of it.

Price: $27! Yes, 40% off. Normally $45.
Why you need it: At that price, you would be stupid not to! But seriously, every girl needs a good scarf in her wardrobe.

Now it's about me again!

Now that Christmas is over I can go back to buying things for myself, rather than other people. Not that I don't love buying gifts for people, don't get me wrong. I just have a list a mile long of things that I want for me that I have had to put off until after Annual Gift Giving Day was over. So consider this my promise that The Shopper will be back with regular posts shortly.

In the meantime feel free to entertain yourselves by hitting the sales. Just try not to get crushed in the rush or fry your credit card.

All quiet on the western front

I haven't been able to tell you all about the cool things I have bought lately because they are all for Christmas presents and I don't want to ruin any surprises! Suffice to say, most of my recent shopping expeditions are holiday related and, while I love buying, I miss buying stuff for me! Although, I could do what one friend of mine is doing...after buying a bunch of really cool stuff yesterday, she has now decided she loves it all so much that she wants to keep it for herself! Hilarious! Much respect, although she is no closer to being done with her shopping.

I, on the other hand, am just about done.

One thing I have been buying up big on lately is summer rolls from the amazing, and aptly named, Summer Rolls. They are yummy and healthy and conveniently located near my place of employment. They are cheap too, which means more money for presents! At $6.50 for 3 rolls plus sauce you really can't go wrong. There is a nice range of options too, which means I can change it up every day for some variety (it is the spice of life you know). My favourite is the lemongrass chicken with the peanut satay sauce, although gosh darn I'm so clumsy that I seem to drop the sauce almost every time I get it (embarrassing). Seriously, get into them...they're yummy AND healthy so you can feel all smug when your colleague comes in carrying a coke and chips and there you are, Miss Healthy 2007.

Price: $6.50
From: Summer Rolls
Why you need it: Yummy and healthy! Win!

Twinkle twinkle little house...

So...my Christmas lights went up today. See that picture to the right? Yeah, I totally rocked that. My house looks awesome*. I'm sure we will add more because it's just not enough yet, but for now I can go outside and feel like I'm in a winter wonderland without needing my sunglasses. I LOVE Christmas lights. They are probably one of my highlights of the holiday season (along with all the extra shopping trips, naturally).

I had every intention of heading down to Bunnings on the weekend to grab my lights but...you know...Bunnings. I did however go to Bondi Westfield and struck electric gold in Hot Dollar. Those junky stores are a veritable treasure trove of random bits and pieces - I bought some really awesome brightly coloured bottles in there that I keep in the fridge full of cold water. Tres fun.

So I grabbed a string of the plain bulbs (traditional lightbulb coloured - none of this LED stuff, we are not a bluelight disco) which are wrapped nicely around the railing on the balcony. I also got a string of icicle lights (the dangly ones, for those of you who don't speak 'light') which sway gently in the breeze as they give off their festive goodness. I would tell you what brand they are, but I don't actually know! They come in a red box that says Do It Yourself Low Voltage Installation, but there are no contact details AT ALL anywhere on the box or instruction sheet *shrug*. Not very helpful am I. Pop down to your local Hot Dollar and check it out yourself. I'm going back this weekend to pick up the hanging stars!

Also, if you want your lights to actually stay up, I recommend Scotch Transparent Duct Tape. It's clear which means you don't have ugly silver duct tape everywhere (ruins the mojo), but it holds really well. Works a treat for those of you who, like me, don't have gutters and therefore can't use those cool little gutter clips.

Price: $26.99 for both kinds of lights. $4.99 for the small role of duct tape.
From: Hot Dollar for the lights, K-Mart for the duct tape
Why you need it: So that you too can win the best balcony competition in your apartment complex!


* I may or may not be lying**

** Ok, I am definitely lying. I live in an apartment.

No, I did it myself. Yes, I am amazing.

I just realised how egotistical I can sound sometimes. Anyway.

Working in a company surrounded by fashion mavens and beauty queens can be quite intimidating at times. I recall not long after I started there someone commented on my nail polish, noting we were wearing the same shade. I chuckled, saying mine was a $5 Revlon job from Priceline and she got quite defensive because hers was O.P.I, done at the salon naturally.

Now, I have commented before on what a make-up retard I am, but one thing I do well is nails. I have always had very strong, perfectly shaped and buffed nails. Thanks Mum (limp hair, but great nails...fair trade off?). I am forever getting compliments on my lovely manicures, and asked whether the girl in our company salon did them, which is a huge compliment since the beauty therapist in question in one of Australia's top nail designers. Yes, our company has its own beauty salon.

But the point of this post wasn't to talk about how great I am. I have been asked a lot about two nail polish colours in particular lately, which are worthy of their very own entry and the praise I am going to heap on them.

My absolute colour of the season, and this is a big call, is Coral Reef (pictured - kind of blurry but you get the idea). It's a beautiful soft coral colour that is sherbet-y and delicious and looks fantastic with everything. It's grown up yet fun and very girly.

Runner up in the colour of the season category is Disco, which is the best fluorescent pink nail polish on. the. planet. It was my colour of the season a couple of months a go, but Supre has kind of ruined fluoro for me now and I don't want to look like a 15 year old clone. Same goes for black nail polish.

Honourable mentions are Gilbert Grapefruit - also a fluoro, but a delightful shade of electric purple which looks very hot on toenails, and Futuristic - a very posh silver for when you want to channel Josh Goot and go all cyber-sporty.

The very best part of this conversation? They are all from Sportsgirl. That means that each little bottle will only set you back $7.95. That's minimal clams for maximum fun!

I will also mention that I have found the most vampy red polish on the planet. Fast Track from kit cosmetics. Comes with a matching lip gloss, but you don't really want to ruin a good thing, do you?

Price: $7.95 for the sportsgirl polishes, $15.95 for the kit polish
From: Sportsgirl and kit. For like the hundredth time. Are you not getting it?
Why you need it: So you're the hottest kitten with the prettiest claws this summer.

I doff my hat to you good sir

Being off work sick (stress related, no less) means extra time for shopping!! In between appointments today, I hit the shops with the intention of getting those last few pesky presents (always a good excuse) but, as to be expected, only walked out with stuff for me.

I have been looking for a fedora for weeks. Not your usual fedora, more trilby I guess. Woven and casual and perfect for summer. Less Dick Tracy, more Justin Timberlake. So my hunt has taken me to Myer on a number of occasions, David Jones, General Pants, Sportsgirl. Incidentally, my sister is getting an adorable trilby from Sportsgirl with a multi-coloured woven band on it for Christmas. But this isn't about her, it's about me.

So I wandered into Target today because a friend had told me they were having a massive shoe sale and I'm looking for some cheap and cheerfuls for an event we are going to on Friday night (health pending). Lo and behold, I found her. No, not my friend silly, the trilby of my dreams. She's a dapper little woven number with a thin snake skin band around her. Sure, she had a garish and unsightly snake skin bow on the side, with these weird little coin things hanging off it. But that's ok, because they were ripped off before we even left the store. I love her and, even though I am sick, I haven't taken her off my head since I got home. Nothing cheers you up like a fun new purchase!

Price: $16.99 - hello, bargain!
Where: Target
Why you need it: To look cool for summer, like me. In fact, that's me in the picture. Don't I look awesome?!

Look Ma, fat hair!

I have limp hair. Flat, thin and lifeless. Very 'nothing' kind of hair - thanks Mum. Every time I go to see my hairdresser the conversation usually starts something like this...

Hairdresser: So what are we doing this time?

Me: Oh, I don't know. My hair is so limp and lifeless, can we make it look like it has some body? And a no effort cut please. I really hate having to try and style my hair.

My super awesome hairdresser than goes on to give me a fab cut (she be a smart cookie) and I look amazing when I leave the salon. This usually lasts about 24 hours and then I have to wash it myself and...well...limp.

I have tried every plumping and texturising product on the market. Mousee on the roots, blow drying my hair upside down (not an easy feat), 47 different kinds of sea salt spray...the list goes on. So when my hairdresser used the kms California Add Volume Root and Body Lift, naturally my hair looked amazing that day but I figured it would go the same route (route...root...get it?!) as every other product I had every tried on my hair. But I bought it anyway.

I am pleased to report I was wrong. It's a delightful mousse spray which is eucalyptus and cinnamon, and smells like Throaties (the gummy kind, not the hard sucking kind). Spray in, rub through, blow dry and BAM! It actually looks like I have body in my hair. And a spray is so easy to use that even a dummy like me can handle it.

Price: $20-$26, depending on where you buy it
From: Salons
Why you need it: To give your hair some luscious body! Woo!

It's all about me!

Ahh Christmas. It means even more excuses to go shopping. Funnily enough, I always go out with a list of things to buy other people and only seem to come home with things for myself. One for you, two for me!

So, as usual, I'm hunting for things for Boyfriend and Sister and end up finding a bunch of stuff I love. You've all seen the 'boys are stupid, throw rocks at them' cartoon by Todd Goldman. Todd has over 5,000 designs that he has slapped on t-shirts, pyjamas, hoodies and all manner of accessories, which can be found at www.davidandgoliathtees.com. I was blown away with the awesomeness (not a real word?) of his stores The Stupid Factory over in the States, so was incredibly delighted to discover the site ships internationally (woohoo! are you listening Sephora?), and they promise 4-6 business days with UPS tracking. Rare.

For myself, a couple of lovely light pj sets for summer ('Spooning Leads To Forking' and 'I'm A Hoot'), for Sister 'It's All About Me' (incredibly appropriate) and 'You Rock, You Rule' pjs and for Boyfriend 'Duck Duck Goose World Champion' shirt.

You can spend hours browsing through the site, laughing at all the cute cartoons. and it's almost guaranteed you can find something for everyone you know. I know I did, although I mainly bought stuff for me.

Price: The accessories start from as cheap as US$1.00, unfortunately UPS international shipping is very expensive (think upwards of $40 if you're buying clothes)
From: David and Goliath tees or The Stupid Factory (in the US)
Why you need it: Perfect for that personalised gift with a touch of humour. Plus, this stuff isn't widely available in Aus so you'll be original.

Ugh

Todays post is brought to you by Panadols new Rapid Handipak. The pack is slim and stylish looking (well, as stylish as a pack of painkillers can look) and, golly gosh, the pain relieving goodness works its magic a treat.

I have bought so much cool stuff in the last few days that I am dying to write about, but it has taken all my strength just to bring you todays post. I'll be back tomorrow I swear! In the meantime, I'm going back to bed.

Price: $3.50
From: supermarkets, chemists etc etc.
Why you need it: To fix your achin' head

And now your good deed for the week...

I love to buy stuff. Things and objects give me great joy. But every now and then I find something wonderful to spend my money on that, while I don't have anything to take home and play with at the end of the day, still gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside.

After much coercing, one of my friends in the office decided to do his bit for charity and grow a mo. Movember is all about raising awareness of mens health issues by having some fun (usually at the growee's expense) while getting cash for prostate cancer and male depression - both very serious and worthy causes. It was an honour to sponsor him and we have had endless laughs with his Mo Is Me newsletter that he sends around every few days, with 'growth update' photos and his wifes annoyance factor on a scale of one to ten.

I'll save him the embarrasment of publishing his photo on here, but about a week ago I did send around an email entitled 'separated at birth', saying that one of the men pictured is the most famous cocaine dealer in the world and the other is Pablo Escobar. Many dirty gringo jokes ensued.

To all the brave souls who sacrificed their looks and comfort for a month of fuzz on the face...I salute you!

Price: However much you feel is suitable, but be generous! Remember, anything over $2 is tax deductible
From: The Movember website - either sponsor someone you know or make a donation
Why you need it: Mens health issues are just as important as womens!

Like a tropical island vacation...

Hawaii is one of my favourite places in the world. IN. THE. WORLD. Stepping off the plane and onto the waiting WikiWiki bus, you can't help but wonder if your aeroplane flew into a time hole and you landed in 1980. Walking down Kalakaua Avenue is an amazing mix of touristy fare (ABC Stores for the win!) and high end fashion, and taking the trolley over to Ala Moana is a religious pilgrimage for a shopper like me. But it's the beach I really love. The warm, soft sand and the still blue water are like nothing else on earth. Watching the surfers being pushed gently back to shore, you have to wonder if the surfing gods are holding them up because the waves are no bigger than ripples but they never fall down. On my next trip I am 100% committed to learning how to surf, and plan to sign up with the Hans Hedemann surf school as soon as I get there.

So Hawaii. I'm a big tropical girl. I would dearly love to dedicate an entire post to the Tommy Bahama coconut and mango candle in a tin that I have been passionately burning, but it wouldn't seem fair because Tommy Bahama don't ship internationally (much to my dismay). However, I have found a new tropical love that I can share with you instead.

I would like to think I am an early adopter. In fact, I can confidently say I AM an early adopter, but clearly I dropped the ball with the Tom Ford for Estee Lauder Azuree Soleil range. I was very fortunate that Estee Lauder gave me some beautiful makeup from this collection many many months before it was available in shops (the bronzer is a winner), so I wasn't racing down to Myer when it was finally launched. I would need fingers and toes to count how many times I have walked past the display and never taken the time to stop and smell the fragrance. STUPID! The skinscent atomiser, or eau fraiche if we are being posh, is simply beautiful. It's like gardenias, warm sand, coconut, caramel and tropical tropical tropical all rolled into one beautiful bottle. The bottle itself is a marvelous blue with an old-school gold lid - very Tom Ford.

Price: $100
From: Myer or David Jones
Why you need it: Eau fraiche is a weaker form of fragrance (ie. not as strong as 'parfum') which means it is light and breezy and super appropriate for wearing every day. You'll feel like you are always in tropical paradise!
The good news: When you spend $95+ at Estee Lauder on fragrance right now you get a super cool tote bag, perfect for overnight rendezvous or carrying gym gear. Choice of red or black (I chose red)
The bad news: The perfume is very limited edition and is starting to sell out in stores already, so you need to act quick! Also, the bonus tote bag offer is also limited. All the more reason to go out and buy it today (or tomorrow, if you are reading this in the evening).

If I could trade lives with anyone...

...Maggie Alderson would be in my top 5 choices. She's creative and witty and always inspires me to try something new/be more fashionable/start writing again. Other people who also have this effect on me are Mia Freedman and Zoe Foster, but that's a whole other post.

On a Sunday morning I would claw my way through the mountain of newspapers trying to find Maggie's column. It was the perfect accompaniment to my traditional Sunday croissant (which I don't do anymore...my hips can't handle it like they used to) and if it was a particularly amusing column I would tear it out and carefully pin it on the wall for inspiration.

Sadly, over the years the paper has disintegrated and scraps have been lost in moves, but that's ok because now all her funniest columns have been put together in Gravity Sucks. She tackles life, kids, the amusing way your body changes over time and the ever-changing face of the fashion industry. She's funny, endearing and she reminds you that life isn't always serious.

Buy it for your Mum for Christmas and you'll be her favourite for the day (not that you weren't already her favourite).

Price: $29.95
From: Borders, A&R, or any other cool book store
Why you need it: For a good laugh, for inspiration and for a really engaging read. Easy top put down and pick back up.

Charge it, pawn it, zoom it, press it...

I'll be honest. I don't get that many calls on my mobile. Mum calls, my sister calls, the odd call from Boyfriend if we aren't together and random sms conversations to catch up with people I haven't seen for a while (who haven't moved online to facebook yet). So all in all, I can keep the battery situation under control. However, there is always bound to be a day when I am stranded in the middle of nowhere (because I go to nowhere frequently) and suddenly, right when my car is being surrounded by wild emus, my mobile battery will die. It's a constant fear.

But fear no more! I have purchased the Energizer Energi To Go mobile phone charger, so that I will never be without battery again. Practical, handy and an extra weight for my already bulging handbag. I can deal with that though. I already have the kitchen sink in there so what's a little extra bulge right? Now I just need the iPod charger cos, gosh, I hate it when my iPod dies on the bus.

Price: $34.95
From: Coles, Woolies, anywhere else you buy batteries
Why you need it: So you are always full loaded and ready to go. In all seriousness it's a very practical idea.

So you want to be shiny...

If you are retarded with makeup, like me, then you have come to the right place. I'm so hopeless with makeup that I try to do sultry, sexy eyes and end up looking like I have been punched in the face. Blush = clown. Lipstick = dribbling down my chin. If, however, you are good with makeup, then I'll let you keep reading anyway, because even a klutz like me could introduce you to a product that could change your life.

Cue 'That Gal'.

My latest and greatest find comes from the benefit counter (via Sephora...oh how I love Sephora). It's some pink gunk in a twist up little tube that you slap all over your face and it makes you all shiny and dewy and lovely and then it's really easy to put on your foundation/tinted SPF. It literally is That Easy. Twist tube, wipe on face. Suddenly you're beautiful (not that you weren't already, sugar) and everything you put on over the top of it stays put for hours while keeping you all soft and luscious at the same time. You get that natural 'I just spent some time in the bedroom' look without having to mess up your hair (since no-one actually gets their sexy bed hair from being in a real bed). Miracle product? I think so. But don't just take my word for it...

Price: AUD$51 or US$27
From: AUS - Myer or DJs or US - Benefit/Sephora
Why you need it: so you look all lovely and glam without putting any effort in. Minimal fuss, maximum benefit (get it?!)

Sprinkles of Cheer...

With the festive season upon us, the apartment I share with Boyfriend and Flatmate needed some holiday dressing. Being a) limited on space and b) in Australia, a giant fur, while lovely, is not so practical. We have these beautiful giant twigs that are covered in fairy lights in a big vase in the corner (which ROCK - but they deserve a post all of their own) which we intend to hang decorations on, but you can't celebrate christmas without a proper Christmas tree. Or something at least resembling a proper Christmas tree. Enter Christmas Tree-In-A-Box.

This amazing find was somewhat by accident while I was out window shopping on Oxford St in Paddington. Purchased from one of the best bookstores in the country - Ariels - this delightful little box of joy is a DIY paper Christmas tree which is 2 feet high when it's all put together. You put the trunk together, push all the branches into place and then hang the sweet little paper baubles which have glitter on them. So adorable!

Price: $19.95
From: Ariels, or any other cool book store
Why you need it: Who doesn't need some Christmas cheer! It's just the right size for any occasion and it's super cute.

Get your credit cards ready...

Woo! First Post!

Ok, so, I like to buy stuff. A lot of stuff. I am the ultimate consumer whore and nothing makes me happier than bags and bags of goodness. My favourite photo of me on my recent trip to Hawaii is me sitting on the hotel room floor surrounded by 16 shopping bags. That was only day one at Ala Moana! Did I lie on the beach? Occasionally. Cocktails at the Mai Tai Bar? Once. Ala Moana? Every day!

So I'm going to tell you all about the awesome stuff I have bought that I think you should buy too.

Always read the PDS before investing...

Stuff That I Bought is a personal blog written by Elise Phillips.

I occasionally receive products from beauty brands and public relations companies, as well as being invited to product launches and information seminars. These products and services are graciously submitted to me for consideration on StuffThatIBought.com.

Complimentary products, services and samples will never influence what I write on my blog. I only write about products that I have used and enjoyed, and would be comfortable recommending to my friends. If a product submitted to me does not meet this requirement, I will not write about it.

As STIB is a personal blog, all of the opinions, commentary and bad jokes come directly from me. Most of the reviews are positive, because I am a positive person and would much rather write about things that you should buy, rather than things that you shouldn’t. All of the opinions on this site are honest assessments of the product or service in question, regardless of whether I have paid for them or not.

STIB does not guarantee reviews for submitted products or services. I am not paid to write reviews on this site. I write this site as a hobby to share my passion for discovering new products and making poor puns.