Thank God You're Here...Grandma's Been Raped!

This is going to be short and to the point.

You. Need. To. Buy. The. Summer. Heights. High. DVD.

Chris Lilley is a genius. You will laugh out loud. You will fall in love with Jonah. You will hate Ja'mie. You will want to slap Mr. G. You will finally understand all the funny calls everyone in your office has been making for the last couple of months. Don't be the last one to jump on this bandwagon, it's pretty full already and you'll get left behind.

Price: $24.95
From: JB Hi-Fi
Why you need it: A cult classic that belongs in every DVD library. Who knew Australians could do comedy well?!

Bite Me, big boy!

So many purchases to talk about, but my gosh I need to tell you about one of my new loves...Bite Me Burger. This funky little burger joint is on Oxford St in Paddo (the epicentre of all things "cool and hip") and they make eating fun. Well, at least, eating was fun for me today. They rock an awesome menu, with such items as The Beef Encounter, The Wagyu Truffle, Vegetari Anne and Pluck Me. These burgers are BIG, so if you're like me and wouldn't have a hope in hell of making it through one, then go for the Minibites. Mini versions of their burgers. Seriously! The first time I went there I tried to take photos of my meal with my camera phone. Incidentally I failed, but this post isn't about my incompetence and lack of coordination. It's about burgers.

My favourite part? The fries come in a miniature shopping trolley. I'm such a sucker for a gimmick so this won me over big time. Team your mini burgers with a mini shopping trolley full of fries and you may as well just declare a Festival of Cute. My only gripe is the mini sized drinks, because you need more than a 250ml Coke to wash down these bad boys. Granted they are in the cute mini glass bottles, so you can't begrudge them for keeping in theme. All in all, a well rounded burger experience. My recommendations? The mini Pluck Me and Beef Burgers, finished off with a Pat and Stick's homemade ice cream sandwich. And try to snag the bench seats at the front window for maximum people watching.

Price: $5 for a Mini Bite through to $29 for the Mega Bite (450g of Terra Rossa beef)
From: Bite Me Burger Co. on Oxford St Paddo (next door to the Paddo Inn) and just opened Campbells Parade Bondi Beach (near Ravesis)
Why you need to go there: For a super amazing burger (or burgers) and fries in a mini shopping trolley. Take your next date there and impress with them with how cool you are.

Bag yourself a bargain (pun!)

My first stop on yesterdays sale mission was the delightful Catherine Manuell Design on Crown St Surry Hills. This store is a treasure trove of bright colours and tasty textures, and I was super lucky to have been given a $100 voucher to spend spend spend to my hearts content. Lucky for me everything in the store was on sale!

The first thing I picked up, and probably my most favourite thing, was this sherbert-y tote bag. Perfect for the beach, it's the right size for a towel, bottle of water, ipod, magazine, wallet, phone and keys. At 20% off, it was also affordable. I would say 'perfect for a Christmas gift', but thankfully that ship has sailed for another 300+ days.

Price: $45? No! 20% off = $36
Why you need it: To put your stuff in for the beach. You need to look good when you hit the sand.

That wasn't all I got at CMD, I also picked up a passport/travel document holder and luggage tag, since I intend to do some more traveling next year (note to self: next purchase = luggage to put said tag on). They are an awesome black and cream hypnotic pattern in a lovely shiny patent, so I will be able to keep all my documents safe and recognise my bag when it comes around on the carousel. How efficient and coordinated is that?!

Price: Tag $9 (SO cheap, and 10% off as well) and Document Holder $35.10 (normally $39)
Why you need them: So you can be the coolest AND most organised person in the terminal.

My lucky last purchase (off a $100 voucher no less, gosh I did well) was a very sexy scarf in light blue/red/white/dark blue which is very nautical and totally in keeping with my current scarf obsession. At a whopping 40% off this was a total steal, and I truly felt like I should have apologised to the girl in the store for walking out with this beautiful piece so darn cheap. I intend to tie it around my head and rock the shit out of it.

Price: $27! Yes, 40% off. Normally $45.
Why you need it: At that price, you would be stupid not to! But seriously, every girl needs a good scarf in her wardrobe.

Now it's about me again!

Now that Christmas is over I can go back to buying things for myself, rather than other people. Not that I don't love buying gifts for people, don't get me wrong. I just have a list a mile long of things that I want for me that I have had to put off until after Annual Gift Giving Day was over. So consider this my promise that The Shopper will be back with regular posts shortly.

In the meantime feel free to entertain yourselves by hitting the sales. Just try not to get crushed in the rush or fry your credit card.

All quiet on the western front

I haven't been able to tell you all about the cool things I have bought lately because they are all for Christmas presents and I don't want to ruin any surprises! Suffice to say, most of my recent shopping expeditions are holiday related and, while I love buying, I miss buying stuff for me! Although, I could do what one friend of mine is doing...after buying a bunch of really cool stuff yesterday, she has now decided she loves it all so much that she wants to keep it for herself! Hilarious! Much respect, although she is no closer to being done with her shopping.

I, on the other hand, am just about done.

One thing I have been buying up big on lately is summer rolls from the amazing, and aptly named, Summer Rolls. They are yummy and healthy and conveniently located near my place of employment. They are cheap too, which means more money for presents! At $6.50 for 3 rolls plus sauce you really can't go wrong. There is a nice range of options too, which means I can change it up every day for some variety (it is the spice of life you know). My favourite is the lemongrass chicken with the peanut satay sauce, although gosh darn I'm so clumsy that I seem to drop the sauce almost every time I get it (embarrassing). Seriously, get into them...they're yummy AND healthy so you can feel all smug when your colleague comes in carrying a coke and chips and there you are, Miss Healthy 2007.

Price: $6.50
From: Summer Rolls
Why you need it: Yummy and healthy! Win!

Twinkle twinkle little house...

So...my Christmas lights went up today. See that picture to the right? Yeah, I totally rocked that. My house looks awesome*. I'm sure we will add more because it's just not enough yet, but for now I can go outside and feel like I'm in a winter wonderland without needing my sunglasses. I LOVE Christmas lights. They are probably one of my highlights of the holiday season (along with all the extra shopping trips, naturally).

I had every intention of heading down to Bunnings on the weekend to grab my lights but...you know...Bunnings. I did however go to Bondi Westfield and struck electric gold in Hot Dollar. Those junky stores are a veritable treasure trove of random bits and pieces - I bought some really awesome brightly coloured bottles in there that I keep in the fridge full of cold water. Tres fun.

So I grabbed a string of the plain bulbs (traditional lightbulb coloured - none of this LED stuff, we are not a bluelight disco) which are wrapped nicely around the railing on the balcony. I also got a string of icicle lights (the dangly ones, for those of you who don't speak 'light') which sway gently in the breeze as they give off their festive goodness. I would tell you what brand they are, but I don't actually know! They come in a red box that says Do It Yourself Low Voltage Installation, but there are no contact details AT ALL anywhere on the box or instruction sheet *shrug*. Not very helpful am I. Pop down to your local Hot Dollar and check it out yourself. I'm going back this weekend to pick up the hanging stars!

Also, if you want your lights to actually stay up, I recommend Scotch Transparent Duct Tape. It's clear which means you don't have ugly silver duct tape everywhere (ruins the mojo), but it holds really well. Works a treat for those of you who, like me, don't have gutters and therefore can't use those cool little gutter clips.

Price: $26.99 for both kinds of lights. $4.99 for the small role of duct tape.
From: Hot Dollar for the lights, K-Mart for the duct tape
Why you need it: So that you too can win the best balcony competition in your apartment complex!


* I may or may not be lying**

** Ok, I am definitely lying. I live in an apartment.

No, I did it myself. Yes, I am amazing.

I just realised how egotistical I can sound sometimes. Anyway.

Working in a company surrounded by fashion mavens and beauty queens can be quite intimidating at times. I recall not long after I started there someone commented on my nail polish, noting we were wearing the same shade. I chuckled, saying mine was a $5 Revlon job from Priceline and she got quite defensive because hers was O.P.I, done at the salon naturally.

Now, I have commented before on what a make-up retard I am, but one thing I do well is nails. I have always had very strong, perfectly shaped and buffed nails. Thanks Mum (limp hair, but great nails...fair trade off?). I am forever getting compliments on my lovely manicures, and asked whether the girl in our company salon did them, which is a huge compliment since the beauty therapist in question in one of Australia's top nail designers. Yes, our company has its own beauty salon.

But the point of this post wasn't to talk about how great I am. I have been asked a lot about two nail polish colours in particular lately, which are worthy of their very own entry and the praise I am going to heap on them.

My absolute colour of the season, and this is a big call, is Coral Reef (pictured - kind of blurry but you get the idea). It's a beautiful soft coral colour that is sherbet-y and delicious and looks fantastic with everything. It's grown up yet fun and very girly.

Runner up in the colour of the season category is Disco, which is the best fluorescent pink nail polish on. the. planet. It was my colour of the season a couple of months a go, but Supre has kind of ruined fluoro for me now and I don't want to look like a 15 year old clone. Same goes for black nail polish.

Honourable mentions are Gilbert Grapefruit - also a fluoro, but a delightful shade of electric purple which looks very hot on toenails, and Futuristic - a very posh silver for when you want to channel Josh Goot and go all cyber-sporty.

The very best part of this conversation? They are all from Sportsgirl. That means that each little bottle will only set you back $7.95. That's minimal clams for maximum fun!

I will also mention that I have found the most vampy red polish on the planet. Fast Track from kit cosmetics. Comes with a matching lip gloss, but you don't really want to ruin a good thing, do you?

Price: $7.95 for the sportsgirl polishes, $15.95 for the kit polish
From: Sportsgirl and kit. For like the hundredth time. Are you not getting it?
Why you need it: So you're the hottest kitten with the prettiest claws this summer.

I doff my hat to you good sir

Being off work sick (stress related, no less) means extra time for shopping!! In between appointments today, I hit the shops with the intention of getting those last few pesky presents (always a good excuse) but, as to be expected, only walked out with stuff for me.

I have been looking for a fedora for weeks. Not your usual fedora, more trilby I guess. Woven and casual and perfect for summer. Less Dick Tracy, more Justin Timberlake. So my hunt has taken me to Myer on a number of occasions, David Jones, General Pants, Sportsgirl. Incidentally, my sister is getting an adorable trilby from Sportsgirl with a multi-coloured woven band on it for Christmas. But this isn't about her, it's about me.

So I wandered into Target today because a friend had told me they were having a massive shoe sale and I'm looking for some cheap and cheerfuls for an event we are going to on Friday night (health pending). Lo and behold, I found her. No, not my friend silly, the trilby of my dreams. She's a dapper little woven number with a thin snake skin band around her. Sure, she had a garish and unsightly snake skin bow on the side, with these weird little coin things hanging off it. But that's ok, because they were ripped off before we even left the store. I love her and, even though I am sick, I haven't taken her off my head since I got home. Nothing cheers you up like a fun new purchase!

Price: $16.99 - hello, bargain!
Where: Target
Why you need it: To look cool for summer, like me. In fact, that's me in the picture. Don't I look awesome?!

Look Ma, fat hair!

I have limp hair. Flat, thin and lifeless. Very 'nothing' kind of hair - thanks Mum. Every time I go to see my hairdresser the conversation usually starts something like this...

Hairdresser: So what are we doing this time?

Me: Oh, I don't know. My hair is so limp and lifeless, can we make it look like it has some body? And a no effort cut please. I really hate having to try and style my hair.

My super awesome hairdresser than goes on to give me a fab cut (she be a smart cookie) and I look amazing when I leave the salon. This usually lasts about 24 hours and then I have to wash it myself and...well...limp.

I have tried every plumping and texturising product on the market. Mousee on the roots, blow drying my hair upside down (not an easy feat), 47 different kinds of sea salt spray...the list goes on. So when my hairdresser used the kms California Add Volume Root and Body Lift, naturally my hair looked amazing that day but I figured it would go the same route (route...root...get it?!) as every other product I had every tried on my hair. But I bought it anyway.

I am pleased to report I was wrong. It's a delightful mousse spray which is eucalyptus and cinnamon, and smells like Throaties (the gummy kind, not the hard sucking kind). Spray in, rub through, blow dry and BAM! It actually looks like I have body in my hair. And a spray is so easy to use that even a dummy like me can handle it.

Price: $20-$26, depending on where you buy it
From: Salons
Why you need it: To give your hair some luscious body! Woo!